That’s a great question. She has gone to counseling. She has listened to a bunch of podcasts. She has expressed remorse. She has resumed intimacy. But — it took a hell of a lot of work on my part to get to the point where she could do those things. And there is still almost no discussion about what happened that does not start with defensiveness on her part. So she really does want Making America Great Since January 1987 Birthday 34 Years T-Shirt to do the right things, but it’s not innate to her. She’s not intrinsically empathetic or sympathetic. I do respect what she has done though. And that’s probably the only reason it’s not already over. This means she has done enough so you can leave without hating her. Her mediocre efforts do not entitle her to a full reconciliation.
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Exactly right. I have a lot of respect for the effort she has put in. I know it has not been easy for her — not making excuses for her, but just acknowledging her side of things. Honestly her efforts are not mediocre — she is really trying hard. It’s just really hard for her. Making America Great Since January 1987 Birthday 34 Years T-Shirt In the end, I think there are some people who are naturally empathetic and others who are naturally self-centered. Not necessarily narcissistic, just have difficulty putting themselves in someone else’s shoes. Unfortunately it’s not easy to tell which type you are dealing a lot of the time. That’s what happened here. She is so good and altruistic in so many ways, that it was hard to see how self-centered she is at her core. That was a revelation to the counselors we have met with as much as it was to me.
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I will reply with what I am doing in this so you can use that however you need to. I am a pretty deep love guy, when I fall ant it is reinforced I am in love for life. I stil love my cheating ex even though I have no desire to spend .3 nano seconds with her. SO I wouldn’t throw that away easily. You have however added some details that would cause me to take measures. She has a BAD memory… Especially in things that are emotionally challenging. That is an issue. She also lied to you at the time this all happened. To ALLOW it to continue with as little damage as possible to what SHE wanted. Making America Great Since January 1987 Birthday 34 Years T-Shirt Both of those are among the common traits of players who cheat. Now I DIDN’T say she was that, at least not anymore.